The Key to Successful Negotiation: Always Be Yourself - Except When You Shouldn't

How do you become a successful negotiator? Our answer is always the same: be yourself - except when you shouldn't. Makes sense, right? This is what we mean...

When negotiating, it's essential to remain professional, respectful, and credible. It doesn't mean you have to always be pleasant. There will be times when you need to take a firm stance and hold your ground. If your goal is for the counterparty to like you, you're likely to give too much value away. Are there benefits to being liked? Sure! But if being liked is more important than the overall deal, watch out.

At times, changing your behavior to signal the right emotions, at the right time, will set the appropriate expectations to the other party. Changing your behavior is uncomfortable! So remember: remain credible and respectful, but never allow discomfort to get in the way of achieving your goal.

There are benefits to being liked, until being liked is more important than the goals of your negotiation.

Conflict is part of the game. There will always be some back-and-forth, but it's important not to take things personally. For example, if the other party makes a lowball offer or rejects your proposal, that doesn't mean they hate you. Instead, keep calm and maintain a professional demeanor throughout the process. Stick to your strategy!

Negotiation is the process of managing conflict and finding alignment on terms. Conflict is part of the game.

Lastly, remember that the goal of any negotiation is to maximize profitability. You should never give away more value than necessary to reach an agreement. Be prepared to challenge the other party (again, professionally) if it doesn't meet your standards - even if it means walking away from a deal altogether.

Focus on ways to get the deal done, profitably.

These are three critical pieces of advice that we give when people ask us how to be a successful negotiator.